The Fire Lord's Loss
by P.Rose205
Summary: When the Fire Lady dies Team Avatar come together to help Zuko make it through his loss. Revolves around Zuko, but there's something about all of them.
1. Death of the Fire Lady

**Death of the Fire Lady**

"Suki. Don't talk. Please, save your breath. Katara will be here soon."

"No…Zuko." the Fire Lady gasped in a shallow voice

"Katara can't …help…me…anymore."

The Fire Lord looked at his wife on the bed, then at his daughter in his arms, "Honey, don't say that. Yes she can. Just hold on."

She slowly, weakly lifted her hand and brushed the tear from his eye before it could roll down his cheek. "No…she…can't." she moved her hand over to her baby's cheek and the baby giggled. "My sweet…little…Ursa. Momma…loves you…my baby." she moved her hand into her husband's and grasped it as tight as she could

Zuko winced, knowing Suki was trying to squeeze his hand, but she didn't have the strength. He wrapped his fingers gently around her hand "Suki. I don't think I can make it without you."

She smiled at him a bit "Yes…you can. You…are Zuko…The great…and…powerful…Fire Lord. You…can do...anything. You…have to…take care…of Ursa. You have…to…raise her…to be…as wonder…ful as you…are." he smiled a weak smile at her and raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I love you…Zuko."

"I love you."

She smiled at him, her chest rising with each shallow breath. He smiled back, fighting back the tears, trying not to cry in front of her, or their little girl. Then her grip released, and her chest stopped moving.

* * *

Katara walked down the hall with her basin of water for her regular healing session with Suki. It had been a month since she, Aang, their newborn daughter Kya, and Sokka had come to the Fire Nation after getting the message that Suki was ill. Toph and her new fiancé came a few days later.

When she first walked in, she smiled. Zuko was sitting in his regular chair next to Suki's bed, holding her hand and they were looking at each other. As she got closer she realized that the scene wasn't what it appeared to be. Suki's eyes weren't focusing, she wasn't holding on to his hand, she wasn't breathing. "Zuko?" Katara said quietly.

Katara?" he said in a weak voice, tears threatening to overflow. He looked at her, then back at his wife "She's gone Katara."

"I'm so sorry Zuko." the water bender said as she went over a put a hand on the Fire Lord's shoulder. "Let me take the baby to the nursery, and I'll be right back, okay."

It was a minute before he turned back to her "Uh, yeah. That's a good idea."

Katara took little Ursa into her arms and walked silently out of the room. She'd only taken a few steps when she saw Aang, Kya and Sokka coming towards her. She rushed to them and told them that Suki had passed. Before she could finish Sokka ran off to be by his friend's side. She took Kya into her other arm and Aang headed to the room as Katara continued on to the nursery and to tell Lady Ursa, Azula, Iroh and Toph the sad news.

* * *

When Aang walked into the room Sokka was standing next to Zuko with a hand on his back and tears streaking down his face. Zuko sat leaning over on the bed, his head buried in one arm his other hand still holding on to Suki's, and sobbing. Sokka reached out reverently and close her eyes.

Soon Iroh and Ursa Senior came. It took them a bit of soft talking and cajoling, but they finally got Zuko to leave Suki's side to allow the undertaker to come and take her body away. He dried his tears and went to the nursery to get his daughter. She was all he had left of Suki, her spitting image with golden eyes and dark brown hair.

When the little princess saw her father she abandoned her toys and toddled over to him. He put on a smile and stooped down, opening his arms to the little girl. Toph, who had been sitting with the babies along with Moo Chee, turned to him. She felt his fluttering heartbeat as he picked his daughter up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard him choke back a sob. The little earth bender got up and went and stood next to her friend. She didn't say anything, she didn't know what to say, so she put a hand on his arm. When he put a hand on top of hers she knew that he understood.

* * *

There were two funerals held for Suki. The one in the Fire Nation was a traditional royal funeral. Her body was placed in her best dress robes and set atop a pyre. Her family and friends stood dressed in white as the Fire Sages carried out the ceremony.

Zuko held on to Ursa, trying his best not to cry in front of his baby and failing miserably. The child studied her father, trying to wipe the water from his face. When it was time to set the fire, the Fire Lord nodded to Suki's assistant, On Ji, to come and take Ursa inside. When the woman came and reached for the baby, she snatched away.

"Ursa baby, go with On Ji." Zuko whispered to his daughter. She whimpered and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Ursa," he voice cracked "please go with On Ji."

On Ji put her hands around Ursa's waist "Come little one," she said sweetly "let's go see if we can find you a cookie."

Zuko gently pulled her little hands from around his neck and as the young woman walked away the baby screamed out and reached for her father. Anyone who hadn't already been crying at the premature loss of the Fire Lady was now crying over the loss of a young mother.

The Fire Lord hung his head and let his tears flow freely. Azula stepped closer to her brother and wrapped her arm around his. He lifted his tear drenched face and looked at her. Azula, her own tears beginning to drip over her long, black lashes, said "Zuzu. It's time."

He looked at her and nodded. Silently, with his sister by his side, he stepped forward to Suki's body. He reached into his sleeve and pulled out her favorite pair of Kyoshi fans, the set she used when she was guarding him. He held then to his lips for a moment and then placed them under her hands. He squeezed his eyes together tightly as he touched her hands gently one last time and stepped away. Then he nodded to the sages.

The old men said one more prayer then sent a burst of flame to the pyre. They stood there and held on to each other, Katara's face buried in Aang's robes, Aang's arm around Zuko's shoulder. Azula still holding on to her brother. Ty Lee held on to Azula and Sokka stood between her and Toph. They stood and watched the pyre burn, and held on, and cried.

* * *

The next morning the group of fiends and the two baby girls sat quietly in Appa's saddle as they headed to Kyoshi Island. The Fire Sages had gathered Suki's ashes and placed them into an urn that Azula now held on to. Zuko sat next to her with Ursa in his lap, thinking about how her second trip to Kyoshi was for such a somber event. Sokka, Toph and Ty Lee sat in the back of the saddle, Toph holding on to Sokka's arm like old times because Moo Chee had to go back to Yu Dao. Katara sat next to Aang as he steered with her head on his shoulder and Kya cradled snuggly in her arms. She cried silently. She'd been holding it in for the longest, trying not to cry in front of Zuko or Ursa.

When they arrived, the Kyoshi Warriors were waiting in full uniform. They greeted Zuko, then Ty Lee and the others. Ty Lee went to dress in her uniform as everyone gathered around the area marked off in front of the statue of Avatar Kyoshi. Suki's cousins, the only family members she had left, received the urn from Azula.

They stood as the procession started. Suki's cousins, Akira and Kenji, carried a tray with her ashes. Behind them were the Kyoshi Warriors singing the song they'd sing for a dead warrior with Aang bringing up the rear. Her cousins buried her ashes in a hole that had been dug in front of the statue of Avatar Kyoshi. Then Aang stepped forward. Oyaji had asked him to place a monument for the young warrior. The Avatar stood for a second, looking down at his friend's grave, then he took a deep breath and looked up at Kyoshi as if they were having some sort of silent conversation. He nodded his head and went into a bending stance, bringing a huge block of solid stone on top of the grave. After a few movements the excess stone fell away and he stepped back.

There she stood on a pedestal , a life-sized statue of Suki in her Kyoshi Warrior uniform standing in a fighting stance, holding an open fan in one hand and a sword in the other. An eternal monument to the warrior, the Fire Lady, the friend, the wife, the mother, Suki of Kyoshi Island.

* * *

**I've been thinking about this for a while and I finally started writing it. I have three chapters done, so I'm going to go ahead and post the first three. I'll try to update often, but I'm working on a few things at once, so please be patient. This is my first story that is mostly sat, so please bare with me.**

**I have taken Bryke's world and injected it with Zuki feels. Bwahahahahaha**

**Names:**

**Akari -Japanese- Light; brightness**

**Kenji - twice as wise**


	2. Dreams and Memories

**Dreams and Memories**

_Zuko_

Her laugh echoed through the halls of the Fire Nation Palace. That sing-songy giggle that always made his heart race. He chased after her, every time he'd get close she'd jump or flip, or dodge him in some other way. He loved to see her straight, auburn hair wave as she escaped his grasp and her smile when she turned and taunted "You won't catch me so easily Fire Lord. No wonder you never caught Aang."

"Oh, we're insulting each other now. I see how you play." He chuckled as he steered her outside "Oh, I have you now." he laughed out as he encircled her in a wall of flame.

Suki skidded to a halt "Zuko, that's not fair!" she yelled as she crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot.

"You started it!" he answered as he circled the flames on the outside.

"I didn't break any rules!"

"You said it yourself," he answered "I am the Fire Lord, you're in the Fire Nation, guess who makes the rules."

She smirked "The Fire Lady." she answered smugly.

He stepped through the flames with a smile on his face "Touché." he said as he stepped to her and placed his arms around her waist. "So what punishment does your highness have for this rule breaking scoundrel?"

She placed her finger on her cheek and thought "Hummm. I believe that you should have to…make us dinner tonight."

"Can't we ask one of the cooks to do that?" he whined "My cooking stinks."

"You gave them the week off."

"I could ask my mother."

"You sent her to Ba Sing Se."

He groaned "Is there anyone here who can help me?"

"You gave everyone the week off except for the guards, and you told them to stay away from the quarters as much as possible."

He hung his head "Remind me why I did that again."

"Because you wanted us to be able to spend our honeymoon all alone." she said in a seductive tone before she lifted his head a bit and kissed him deeply.

"Oh yeah," he said with a smile on his face when they separated "I'd forgotten."

He leaned in to kiss her again, slowly leading her until they were laying on the grass that was laid out on the palace practice field. Silently they began undressing each other in-between hungry kisses. Their hands explored every inch of flesh they could reach without separating their entangled lips.

Not a word passed between them. They moved in in sync, instinctively knowing what the other was about to do, how they were about to move. Zuko settled himself over Suki as she spread her thighs to allow him room to settle there. Right as his tip began to breach her inner warmth, he heard a child cry.

Zuko jumped up. He had fallen asleep on the nursery floor. He looked around, giving himself a second to get oriented before he realized that it was little Kya who had woken him from his dream. He took the baby from the bassinet and cradled her in his arms just as Katara walked into the room.

"I'm sorry she woke you." she said as she took her 5 month old into her arms "You were finally sleeping so peacefully. Maybe if you went to bed you coul-"

"No." he said a little too quickly, a little too harshly. He lowered his tone, and his head "No, I'm fine." he said in a somber tone "That nap has me feeling refreshed. I think I'll go catch up on some paperwork."

"Zuko, I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, but you have to try and get some rest. You've barely slept in two months."

Katara sat in the chair near the bassinet and draped a thin blanket across her shoulder, Zuko turned his back to her, knowing she was preparing to nurse Kya, but mostly because he didn't want her to see his face when he said the next thing "I can't sleep." he admitted softly "I don't want to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is her. All I dream about is her. And then I wake up, and she's not here and it's like she's died all over again.." he inhaled deeply, trying to hold back tears "and waking up in that bed is so much worse. I just turn over and expect her to be there…I just can't." He turned around, his head still down, his long dark hair falling to cover his face "I'll be in my office." he rushed out as he scurried out the door.

_Katara_

Katara went back into the room and slid into bed quietly. She nestled herself into the crook of her husband's body. He smiled and hummed into her hair and pulled her into his arms. "I'll get her next time." he said sleepily as he placed a kiss down on the top of her head, then he heard her breath hitch. His eyes opened wide "Katara? What's wrong?"

"Zuko," she answered "He's just so…he's lost without her. He won't sleep, he barely eats. He's falling apart."

Aang pulled his fingers though her wavy hair. "Sweetie, I know you're worried, but, to tell the truth, I think I would be the same way without you. Maybe even worse. He does have some good days."

"I know." she said pressing closer into the comfort of his embrace "I just worry about him so much."

"I know you do. We all do. All we can do is be here for him and try to help him get better."

"I know." she said "I just don't like seeing him like that." The water bender snuggled into her husband's arms and thought of a time, not too long ago, when their friend was much happier.

* * *

Suki lay on a chaise lounge that Zuko had placed in his throne room. He had it put there as she got closer to her due date because he wanted her to be close to him. Katara sat on the end of the lounge, watching her friend's hand skate across her very pregnant belly as Zuko, Aang and a few generals talked in the background.

"Are you excited?" Katara asked as her eyes moved up to see Suki's soft smile and eyes gazing down at her stomach

"Yeah. I can't wait." she looked up at Katara and saw a tiny hint of sadness in her eyes. She sat herself up and placed a hands on Katara's "You guy's time will come soon, and this one and yours will be the best of friends."

Katara wanted to ask Suki how she knew. "I don't know Suki. We've been trying for almost three years and nothing has happened, while you were drinking Uncle's 'special blend' every day and here you are. Maybe I can't have children."

"Don't say that Katara. Maybe the problem is that you're _trying._"

"What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is how much fun can sex be if every time you have it you're wondering if that will be the time you get pregnant." Katara pursed her lips at the Fire Lady, and Suki laughed "I'm not saying you guys don't have a good sex life, because according to the way you grope on each other when you think no one's looking it's obvious you do." Katara blushed "What I'm saying is that if you stop thinking about it and relax, you guy's bodies can relax, and before you know it," she rubbed her hands around her middle for emphasis "You can be as big as a house too."

The younger woman leaned over and wrapped her arms around her friend "Thank you. You don't know how much I needed to hear that."

"Oh 'Tara, any time."

They parted, both of them wiping happy tears from their eyes. Then they shared and embarrassed giggle when they realized that Aang and Zuko had ended their meeting and were standing not far from them "So what do you think that was all about?" Aang asked with a smile on his face.

"They're plotting something." Zuko said as he strolled over to his wife. "What are you two plotting?"

"Oh nothing," Suki sang "just a little girl talk."

"Did you ask her?" Zuko said as he slid in beside Suki and rested his hand on her tummy.

"Not yet," she said as she elbowed him lightly "I was just about to."

"Ask me what?" Katara asked.

Zuko smiled up at her "We were wondering if you would stay for a few weeks and deliver the baby when the time comes."

Katara looked up at Aang who had moved to stand at her side then back at the smiling couple "I'd love to, but we're supposed to go to Air Temple Island when we leave here."

Aang put his arm around her "It's just to finalize the design on the temple, I can handle that."

She smile widely "Then my answer is 'yes'. It'll be my pleasure to help you bring this little one into the world."

"See," Suki said as she nudged Zuko "now he can say he was delivered by the best water bender and healer in the world."

"Yes **she **will." he answered.

Suki rolled her eyes "Whatever you say."

_On Ji_

She walked up to the door of the palace and the guard let her in, smiling as she passed by. She nodded and continued to her destination. On Ji loved her job, but since Suki passed it actually seemed like work. She remembered the day she met the Fire Lady,

* * *

The Fire Lord had sent out flyer. He was looking for someone to help his new fiancée get acclimated to Fire Nation upper class society. She and about 100 others lined up at the palace that day to be considered for the position. One by one they went into the Fire Lord's throne room. When it was her turn, the young woman was scared out of her wits.

She walked in and the guard closed the heavy door behind her with a loud scrape then a thud. She clasped her hands together to keep her fingers from trembling. As she got closer she saw Fire Lord Zuko, sitting straight as a board with a serious expression on his face. Next to him sat this blue eyed woman with reddish-brown hair and a soft smile on her face. She wore a beautiful green dress and a small golden flame in her top knot, no doubt her engagement present from her future husband.

_Okay girl, keep yourself together._ she lectured herself as she reached the front of the room. She bowed deeply "Fire Lord Zuko," _Oh spirits, I forgot her name _"Your Ladyship," _Good save. _"My name is On Ji and I'd like to be considered for the position of personal assistant to" _damn what was her name, oh, I've got it _"Lady Suki."

Suki cocked her head slightly to one side while Zuko keep his stone face. "You are much younger than the others who want to be considered for this job. How old are you?"

_Don't stare at his scar, don't stare at his scar _"Your Highness, I am 19 years old, but I graduated first in my class at the academy and I've graduated early from university, also first in my class." _damnit you just looked at it_. "I have also been attending Society events all my life," _is his other eye a little bruised? What the hell? _"here and, since the war ended, in the Earth Kingdom and the Northern Water Tribe."

Suki was still studying the young woman "So you are accustomed to travel. That's good, because you may be required to travel with Lady Suki from time to time." he glanced at the Kyoshi Warrior and then back at the young woman "You do understand that my fiancée is not from the Fire Nation."

"I've heard she is a Kyoshi Warrior, and I must say that I am quite proud to be in her presence." _Ah hell, way to sound like a suck up._

He turned to his right "Is there anything you wanted to ask?"

"I'm sorry, but what did you say your name was again?" she asked looking at the younger woman.

"It's On Ji"

"On Ji?"

"Yes your Ladyship. It is a bit of an odd name." _Like Suki is so common._

"No, it's not that. I know that name." she said then turned to her left "Zuko, why do I know that name?"

For the first time his stern demeanor dropped as he looked at her "Honey, I don't know."

Suki clapped her hands together and smiled hugely "Oh, I know." she turned to him and pat her hand on his shoulder "That's one of Aang's friends from when he went to school."

He furrowed his brow as he continued to look at her "Aang never went to school."

She landed her hands on her hips "Yes he did. Remember, when they were hiding out before the Day of Black Sun." she shoved him lightly "The dance party in the cave."

Zuko's face lightened as it came to him and he looked back at the young lady "Yes, the dance party in the cave. You're the On Ji that danced with Aang."

The young woman's relaxed "Kuzon. There were rumors that he really was Avatar Aang, but most of us never believed it."

The couple laughed "That was him alright." Suki said before turning to Zuko again. "I like her. Can we hire her, please?"

His face dropped as he looked back at her "But there are still at least 60 more candidates out there. Don't you think we should finish the interviews?"

"But I like _her." _she pouted "She's qualified, she's not old as dirt, and she's the first one who hasn't given me the sink eye when you said I was from the Earth Kingdom." she cut him a sly glance, "and besides, would you rather interview old biddies all day or…" she leaned over and whispered in his ear and his eyes widened as he fought back a small smile.

"Okay On Ji, you're hired. Your first assignment is to tell the others that the job has been filled, and tell the guards not to disturb us for thirty-" Suki shook her head "and hour. Not to disturb us for an hour."

_Well hot damn._ "Yes your highness." she said fighting back a giggle and backing towards the door.

"I'll see you first thing in the morning." Suki called out.

"Yes Milady." she said tuning back as she closed the door, just in time to see Suki laugh as Zuko started to peel his robe off and dive toward her.

On Ji giggled at the memory. Suki hadn't just been her employer, they had become friends. Since her death Zuko had kept her on as a public relations advisor, coming in once a week to give him updates. Some days she loathed these reports, and today was one of those days.

_Sokka_

The young warrior was on the way to the Fire Nation in his balloon. It was his turn to be with Zuko so that Aang and Katara could go back to Ba Sing Se and handle some business.

He'd wasted so much time being angry with them, but now he regretted every moment of it. When the news came that Suki was ill he was the first one ready to go, worried about her and Zuko. When they arrived Zuko took him to see here.

"Suki Honey," Zuko said sweetly as he stood at the door "I have a bit of a surprise for you."

She smiled "You do." He stepped aside and the water tribesman walked in "Sokka?" she said sitting up in the bed.

"Hey." he said awkwardly "Long time no see. You look good."

She smiled "Did Zuko tell you to say that?"

"Since when do I do what Zuko says?" he laughed and nodded back at Zuko as the Fire Lord turned to leave the room.

"Then you need to stop lying to me." she said with a smile as she reached out to hug him. He moved to the bed and leaned over to hug her. "We've missed you," she whispered in his ear "especially him."

"I've missed you guys too." he said back as he sat down in the chair beside her bed. "Look…I'm sorry for how I acted back then. I should've done better, and I should've come earlier."

Suki put her hand on his. "It's okay Sokka. All that matters is you're here now."

He smiled and kissed her lightly on the temple, then sat back down. "So, I heard you had a kid."

"Yeah," Zuko said as he reentered the room. "and look who just woke up."

He walked over and sat on the opposite side of the bed beside his wife. The baby girl immediately reached over and Suki took her into her arms. Sokka couldn't help but smile as he looked at how happy the three of them were together. He could see that was exactly where they belonged.


	3. Rumors

**A little fun to start thing out with. I'm trying not to make it too heavy.**

* * *

**Rumors**

That morning when Aang walked into the office, Zuko was sitting at his desk with Ursa on his lap, the two of them picking at a bowl of fruit and oatmeal. "Morning Sifu Hotman." Aang said, hoping that this was one of Zuko's good days.

The Avatar was pleased when he responded with "Stop calling me that." and not a grunt. He leaned down to kiss Ursa on the cheek but Zuko stopped him.

"Aang, what happened to your head?" he asked as he started to reach out and touch the lightly bleeding marks on his friend's bald head. "Seems like you've been shaving long enough to be able to do it without cutting yourself."

Aang rubbed the back of his neck and blushed "I didn't do that…Katara did."

"Now why in the world would you let you let Katara shave yo-" then he realized that the cuts were slightly crescent shaped, like fingernails. His eyes went beady "Really Aang!"

"Get over yourself, Zuko." he said as he leaned in to try and kiss the baby on the cheek, but Zuko snatched the baby away.

"You had better keep your lips off my baby after what you just did."

"Awe, come on Hotman. I washed up before I came down here and Ursa expects her Uncle Aang to give her cheek kisses in the morning." he laughed as he leaned farther across the desk and made kissing sounds.

"I said no!" Zuko said lifting the laughing girl as high as he could as he jumped out of his chair and started to jog away from the Avatar "Keep your defiled lips away from my kid." he yelled as he held Ursa to him, shielding her face.

"Okay, but I'm kissing somebody on the cheek this morning, so I guess it's going to be you."

"Aang! Stop it! That's not funny!" he squeaked as he dodged his friend. "Go kiss Katara!"

"I already did. Now I want to kiss someone from the Fire Nation."

Just then the door opened and they froze. There they stood as On Ji took in the strange scene in front of her. The Fire Lord stood there wide eyed and red-faced in mid stride, holding baby Ursa out in front of him. Not far behind him was the Avatar, just as wide eyed and more red-faced with his lips puckered.

The two men quickly straightened their posture, Aang adjusting his cloak "Good morning On Ji." Zuko croaked out.

She tried to hold on to her laugh and said "Good morning Fire Lord Zuko, Avatar Aang."

"Good morning." Aang said as Zuko went back to his desk so the Ursa could finish her breakfast.

"So On Ji, is there anything to report today?"

She held her head down "There is something Fire Lord Zuko. There are…rumors going around."

Aang and Zuko chuckled "So what's new, there's always rumors going around."

"These are different." she said, looking back up at the men, though she didn't want to "These involve Master Katara."

The fire bender dismissively waved his hand "I know, I know. Katara's really running the Fire Nation, and most of the world for that manner, and Aang and I are her lackeys. That one's been going around for years."

"You're Highness, I wish it were only that, but it's so much worse."

That got Zuko and Aang's full attention. "What is it On Ji?" Aang asked in a very concerned voice.

"I wish I weren't the one to have to tell you this, but you need to know." The woman held her head down again "People are saying….that Master Katara and the Fire Lord are having an affair."

"What?" the men gasped at the same time.

She turned her head to the side "They say that Master Katara and Fire Lord Zuko have been having an affair for years. They also say that baby Kya is not Avatar Aang's daughter, but a princess of the Fire Nation."

"Ozai! My father started this, I just know it." Zuko said slamming his fist down on the desk. Then he looked at his friend "Aang, you have to know that there isn't an ounce of truth to any of this."

Aang smiled a bit "I know there isn't." then his face when straight again "but that's not all, is it On Ji?"

"No," she said, her voice trembling "but it's just so horrible, I don't want to say it." _He's having one of his good days. I can't tell him this. It'll pull him apart._

"What is it On Ji?" Zuko asked in a calm and sweet tone "It's alright, you can tell us, whatever it is."

On Ji looked back at them, tears starting to fall from her eyes "They say, that you, and Katara conspired …to kill the Fire Lady. They say Master Katara could've saved her, but she let her die so that the two of you could be together and the two of you would get rid of the Avatar, but he's too powerful."

Zuko's blood boiled and his face contorted, but he kept a calm demeanor, remembering that his daughter was still in his lap. "On Ji," he growled through gritted teeth "could you please take Ursa to the nursery. I'll send for you in a little while."

"Yes Fire Lord Zuko." she answered as she scooped the child into her arms and rushed out of the room.

"How dare they!" Zuko yelled after the door closed "How fucking dare they accuse me of something like that? How dare they accuse Katara!" his voice cracked a little as his tone calmed "Don't they know?" he said, his face softening, then twisting in an entirely miserable state "Don't they know how much we loved her…how much _I _love her."

The air bender stepped forward and put a hand on the Fire Lord's shoulder "I know Zuko, but people will take the smallest thing and run with it so that they can have something to talk about."

"But this-" the dark haired man said shaking his lowered head.

"I know. This is cruel and nasty. I think you may be right. This is Ozai's doing."

"I need to fix this. I can't have people believing any of this."

"What are you going to do?"

"The only thing I can do, acknowledge it, tell the truth, and then go confront Ozai."

* * *

When Sokka arrived the palace courtyard was full. He landed his balloon in the back of the palace, grabbed his bags and headed in. "What's going on around here?" the man asked as he approached the guard at the door.

"The Fire Lord is making an announcement. He said it is very important."

Sokka was confused "Do you know what it's about?"

"He did not say." the guard answered "All I know is he looked like he was less than pleased about something."

"He hasn't been pleased with anything the past few month." the warrior countered.

"This is different. I've never seen him like this."

Sokka's brows knitted together "Do you know where he is?"

"It's almost time for the announcement to begin, he should be at the balcony."

Sokka got to the balcony just in time to see Zuko settle Ursa on his hip, "Hey, what's going on around here? And why is everyone so dressed up?"

Katara turned to her brother as Aang placed a sleeping Kya in Zuko's other arm "Zuko's about to get some things settled."

Before Sokka could ask any more questions the announcer started to speak "Fire Lord Zuko has called us her today because he has a very important announcement to make." the woman glanced back and Zuko nodded to her "And now, our leader Fire Lord Zuko."

A great cheer went up and Zuko stepped out. As he came closer into view the applause calmed. As high up as he was, the whispers snaking their way through the crowd were almost audible. He stood there for a while and looked around as the people tried not to be obvious about their reaction to him holding both baby girls in his arms.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he finally said in a booming voice that caused Kya to squirm in his arm. He lifted her closer to him and whispered "It's okay little one, Uncle didn't mean to scare you." there was a soft 'awe' that rumbled through the crowd that brought him back to the reason he was there "It has come to my attention that there are some questions about the parentage of the children I hold in my arms. The older of the girls was formally introduced to you on the day of her birth. This is my daughter, mine and the late Fire Lady's. Princess Ursa the Second of the Fire Nation." Another cheer went up and he nodded to On Ji who stepped forward and took Ursa in to her arms and then stepped back.

Zuko adjusted Kya in his arms and smiled down at her. "This little one should have been presented to you earlier, but I have been preoccupied. She is Princess Kya." the crowd gasped and Zuko continued "Her mother is Master Katara, Princess of the Southern Water Tribe." Katara rounded her shoulders and stepped forward, her head held high as the people continued with their sounds of shock. Zuko raised his hand for silence "and her father" he looked back at Katara, then back to the crowd "_is_ Avatar Aang of the Southern Air Temple." mumbles rolled through the assemblage as Aang stepped forward and put an arm around his wife's shoulder. Zuko spoke on "This little one is not yet a half year old yet and her name has already been attached to a scandal. So, it is for her sake I stand here today." he turned and gave Kya back to her father and then turned back to the crowd.

"I was disheartened today to hear that _anyone _would think that I would betray my friend _or_ my wife. And I was devastated to hear that people would think that I or Master Katara would put _anyone's_ life at risk, especially my precious Suki. The Fire Lady's death was a horrible tragedy and I miss her every minute of every day."

"I know I can't force you to believe anything I say. All I can do is present you with the truth and pray that you are good enough to accept it."

Zuko turned and walked off of the balcony, followed by On Ji and Ursa, then Katara, Aang and Kya. Once they were inside, Zuko pressed his back to the wall and crumbled to the floor with his hands tugging at his hair. Sokka knelt down "Come on buddy, let's go to your room. You look like you can use some rest."

The fire bender inhaled and stood up, tears threatening to fall from his eyes "No. I'm not done yet."

Just then a guard approached him "Your Highness, Your father had been secured."

"Thank you." he said to her, she bowed and left.

Sokka looked at Zuko, then at Aang "Ozai's here?"

"Yes," Zuko said as he straightened his robes and smoothed his hair "I need to have a word with him."

* * *

Ursa Sr sat next to Iroh. On the other side sat Ozai , long black hair falling messily around his face, a sinister smirk on his face.

"I just want to know why." Ursa said "Why are you determined to torment our son? Especially now, with what he's going through. Haven't you done enough to him."

"I am but a lowly prisoner. What control do I have over what others say." the former Fire Lord cooed. "What can I do to the all mighty Fire Lord?"

"You are manipulative and conniving. A person who didn't know better could easily fall under your control"

"Ursa, you wound me." he said feigning offence "I would think that my loving wife would have a better opinion of me."

The woman's eyes darkened and her brows creased "I _was_ your loving wife when I was foolish and young. You've done nothing but hurt and abuse my children. How can I love a man like that?"

"I taught them to be strong."

"You scarred my son and destroyed my daughter's sanity!"

"And you killed my father." Ursa stood with her fist balled, smoke rising from her hands "Ah, I see that's a bit of a sore subject for you. Lady Ursa hardly ever shows her bending."

"Once I do to you what you did to my son you'll know what a sore subject is."

"Ursa," Iroh said, standing and placing his hand on the woman's back "don't let him goad you."

Zuko walked in and saw his mother's hands smoking. He looked at his father "What has he done?"

"I only stated the truth." Ozai said

"Uncle," Zuko said, still holding his glare on his father "take mother out to the garden please."

Iroh placed his other hand on his sister-in-law's arm "Yes Nephew, I think that is a good idea." He turned to the woman "Come Ursa, lets take a walk."

He moved to step away, but she stood firm in her place. The Fire Lord finally turned to Ursa "Mother. Please."

This finally broke her stare and said "Fine" before she and Iroh walked out of the room.

Ozai smiled as he watched the woman leave the room. "Still as spirited as always. And always a joy to watch leave."

"Don't you dare talk about my mother that way." Zuko growled.

Ozai gave his son a defiant look "I apologize Your Highness. You should be glad I see your mother _that way_, or you would not be here." Zuko inhaled sharply and clenched his jaw, "And why are we here? I thought you were finally going to introduce me to my granddaughters, but I see you've come empty handed. I'd love to see the precious little ones. I hear they look like night and day."

"Don't you dare speak about those babies."

"You keep telling me what _I_ dare not say. What are _you_ here to say."

"You know full well that I have _one_ child, and I know that you're the one who started those rumors about me and Katara. You are looking to cause derision in my country and my home and I **will not **have it. You **will** stop spreading these falsehoods."

"And if I don't," the man growled "then what are you going to do about it?"

Zuko planted his hands on the and looked his father in the eyes, speaking in a cool, but sinister tone "If you don't then I suppose I would have to take you from the safety of your current private cell and have you placed in the general population of an Earth Kingdom prison. I'm _sure _those prisoners would be more than happy to meet the former Fire Lord."


	4. Six Months Gone

**Six Months Gone**

Ty Lee

It had been six months since Suki died and in all that time Ty Lee hadn't gone back to the Fire Nation. She missed Suki too much, and after Toph told her about what a hard time Zuko was having she thought it was best that she not go and make it worse.

She was going back because Zuko sent for her. He had a new group of guards coming in and he needed her to teach them some techniques. The acrobat packed her things and boarded the balloon. As she and the pilot crossed the ocean she thought about one of the last things Suki told her.

_You can't let this go so easily. Sometimes you have to fight for love._

By the time the palace came into view Ty Lee had made up her mind, what Suki said was absolutely right. The young woman smiled as she landed a determined fist on the edge of the ship_ I never should of let this go._ she thought _I'm going to get my Baby back._

* * *

She popped her head into his door "Good afternoon Fire Lord Zuko." she chimed with a toothy smile.

"Ty Lee." he said with a small smile as he got up from behind his desk, meeting her at the front to give her a hug "We've missed you. Where did you disappear to."

"I did a little traveling around the Earth Kingdom. I just got back to Kyoshi Island when the messenger came."

"Well I'm glad he caught you." he said as he went back to his desk. "I was just wrapping up for the day. We can talk about the guards over dinner. Everyone will be happy to see you."

She cast her eyes to the floor, "Yeah…everyone."

Zuko furrowed his brows and looked up at her "What's wrong?" he asked "Why did you say it like that."

"Can I tell you something?" she asked settling in to the chair in front of the desk. He nodded his head "There's …someone. We broke up before…about eight months ago and I just let it go when I should of fought for it. I need to fix that."

Zuko smiled a bit "Do I know him?" there was a knock on the door "Hold that thought. Come in!"

On Ji walked into the office "I just wanted to stop by before I go to see if there was anything else you needed me to check into this week."

Zuko noticed that Ty Lee flinched when she heard On Ji's voice. "No, I think we covered everything. Oh, though I did almost forget, Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph will be here when you come back, so they'll all be present for your next report."

The woman smiled "Yes Fire Lord Zuko, I'll see you then. Goodnight."

"Goodnight On Ji." When the door closed Zuko looked back at his friend confused "It's On Ji, isn't it. I always thought…well-"

"That I liked men. I used to think I did. I guess because that's what I was always told I was supposed to do, but as I got older I realized that that just wasn't what I wanted."

"Did you tell anyone else?" he asked as he laced his fingers and rested his chin on his knuckles.

"I told Azula first, a few years ago, but you know how she is, she already knew. Suki figured it out on her own, she was very observant." she smiled as she thought about her departed friend, and was relieved when Zuko did the same " And I told Toph."

"You know, I've been thinking." Zuko said "Instead of wasting time talking to me, maybe you should go catch On Ji. We can finish this later."

* * *

Ty Lee caught On Ji as she rounded the last corner before she got to the front door. "Hello On Ji." she said as she slowed down next to the woman. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." the younger woman answered stiffly as she stopped and turned. "You look well."

"You do too." Ty Lee said "Could I talk to you for a minute."

She tucked her arms into her sleeves and raised her head a bit "I'm listening."

Ty Lee looked around, then whispered "I've missed you."

On Ji scowled a bit as she tried to bite back the anger that was starting in her. "So you say. You're whispering, so apparently nothing's changed." the acrobat held her head down "Like I thought." she bowed a bit "Have a good night Captain Ty Lee."

"On Ji, wait." she said stepping forward with an outreached hand.

"For what?" she snapped "I'm not going to be your little secret again. I can't live like that."

"It's not that easy." Ty Lee said as she stepped back, ashamed.

"Don't you think I know how the world sees me, how they would see us. But this isn't about the world. It's about us. This palace is a safe place, and you wouldn't even acknowledge me here. Suki knew about us and you wouldn't even hold my hand in front of her. I need more than someone who slips in and out of my window at night. Ty Lee, I loved you," she turned her head to the side a chuckled a bit "I think I still do. But I can't live my life with someone who's afraid to walk down the street next to me."

* * *

Toph

The young woman walked into the palace sitting room to find Zuko playing on the floor with his little girl. Toph had been there with them for two months and she was very happy that his bad days were getting less frequent. For the past two weeks he started sleeping and what was better, the week before he'd gone back to sleeping in his room. Before he did so he'd had the bed replaced and the room rearranged, but Toph still thought it was a step in the right direction.

He'd also started eating because he was actually hungry, and not because he was trying to make it look like he was fine. Toph was most happy about that because Zuko's steps were beginning to feel lighter because he had lost weight, easily twenty pounds. She wondered how his appearance must have changed.

"Hi kiddos." she said as she walked in "What are we playing today?"

"Ball." Ursa squeaked happily as she handed the toy to Toph.

"Hmm, ball…" she said as she kneeled down "well, Granny Ursa was looking for you, but I think I rather play ball too."

The little girl's big golden eyes stretched and she got up and jumped on Toph "NiNi. Go NiNi."

Zuko smiled "You just want your granny cause she sneaks you cookies."

"I do no such thing." Lady Ursa said as she stepped into the room. Toph laughed at the woman's blatant lie. The Lady caught the look on the girl's face. "We don't sneak them. We take them rather openly." she smiled and bent down to kiss her son on the head "You need a nap." she said as she turned to take her grand daughter in her arms

"Yes Mother" he laughed. "Save me a cookie."

She smiled back at him from the door, an emotional smile on her face because of the all too rare request "We'll save you two."

"Momma's boy." Toph laughed as she stretched out on the floor.

"A title I gladly hold." he said as crossed his legs in front of him. "So, how's wedding planning going?"

"My mother and Katara is handling that." she said "But I am in charge of getting the officiate."

"Have you done that yet?" he asked, leaning his chin on his palm.

"Well, King Bumi said he would do it."

"That's good."

"And I want you to do it too." Zuko's eyes stretched "Don't look at me like that!" she snapped, feeling his stare.

"Why me?" he asked "You already have Bumi."

"Because I want you to do it."

"What about Aang?"

"Damn it Sparky! I said I want _you_. If you don't want to do it then fucking say no!"

"It's not that I don't want to." he said quietly, ducking his head "I just…I know I haven't been at my best lately. I wouldn't want to ruin your day."

She smiled at him "I have faith in you."

He smiled back "You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know the past few months have been hard on you, but you're getting better. I know you can do it." she smiled bigger at him from under her thick bangs "Besides, I need somebody to level out all Bumi's crazy."

* * *

On Ji

The young woman walked into the Fire Lord's office prepared for her regular weekly report. As he said the week before his friends were there including, to her dismay, Ty Lee. She greeted them and went about her report, doing her best to ignore the woman she had loved for over a year, that she still loved, but she dare not act on it.

Ty Lee was beautiful, funny, intelligent and more flexible than any human being had a right to be, but she was also afraid of what people would think if they knew that she was a lesbian. On Ji couldn't deal with that. She wasn't asking Ty Lee to shout their love from the rooftops, but she wanted to be able to acknowledge each other in front of their friends.

"Good, good." Zuko said after the young woman finished her report "And has there been anything about or from Ozai."

"Not that anyone knows of. He's been rather quiet since your last meeting." she said with a smile, everyone else laughed. "Well, that's it. If there's nothing else I'll go about my other duties and I'll be back before I leave."

Zuko looked around "Thank you On Ji, I think that's it for now."

"No, it's not." Ty Lee rushed out as she jumped up from where she was sitting. On Ji's face immediately dropped as the Kyoshi Warrior walked toward her "I've been a massive fool, and I need to fix that."

Before On Ji could say anything Ty Lee cupped her face in both hands and kissed her deeply. Everyone's jaws dropped, except for Sokka who said "That is so fuckin' hot."

Katara slapped her brother across the back of his head, "Don't ruin the moment jerk."

Ty Lee pulled away and turned to her friends "I love this woman very much," then she turned back to On Ji "and if you'll have me back I promise I'll be what you need me to be."

On Ji smiled at Ty Lee, then blushed at all the attention they were getting "Come see me tonight," she whispered "we can talk about it.

* * *

Aang

The Avatar had walked half of the palace looking for his wife when he found her at the turtle duck pound. She was sitting on the ground with her back to him, so he decided to sneak up on her. He got within arms reach a huge smile crossed his lips and stretched out his arm, intent on pulling the end of her braid when he dropped her head and began to cry.

"Katara?" he said quietly, his smile dropping. She jumped at the sound of his voice. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" he asked as he slid beside her.

"It's nothing." she said trying to clear the tears from her eyes.

"Don't tell me that." he said .

"I…I cant tell you."

"What's so horrible that you can't tell me. I thought we told each other everything?"

She looked a him, tears streaming down her face "You're right." she sniffed "But you have to promise me something."

"Anything." he answered, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"You can't tell _anyone_, especially not Zuko. Zuko….he can never know this."

* * *

**My first real cliff hanger. I know its a little one, but what do you think? **

**Yes, yes, I know, me and my crazy ships, but it just came to me one day and I went with it. Hope you are enjoying the story. Thanks for all reads, comments , follows and favs. **


	5. The Healer's Secret

**The Healer's Secret**

She laid in her husband's arms next to the turtle duck pond and sobbed into his shirt. Aang sat quietly, holding her close, waiting patiently for her to pull herself together long enough to tell him what this big secret was. What could possibly be that so big that she'd kept it from him, this thing that Zuko could never know? He did his best not to let his mind wonder. He didn't want to jump to any conclusions, or worse put something utterly untrue into his head.

Katara didn't want to tell him this, she wished she didn't know, but she had been holding it in for so long she thought it may be best to tell him. Every time she even thought about it she would cry. And now, as the time came closer, she was thinking about it even more. She had to tell someone, she had to tell him. Why'd she kept it to away from him so long, she didn't know. She turned her head so that he'd be able to hear her and took a deep, stuttered breath "Aang, he can never know. Promise me, you'll never breathe a word of this to anyone but me."

"Sweetie," he said as she squeezed her tighter "I would never betray your confidence."

"Remember when we first came here after we found out Suki was sick?"

_Seven months earlier_

_They arrived from Ba Sing Se in record time. Katara leapt off of Appa and ran to the room the guard directed them to while Aang came behind her with Kya in his arms._

"_Katara?", Suki said breathlessly as she opened her eyes, "What are you doing here? You just had a baby."_

"_She's two months old now Suki,", Katara said, forcing a smile, as she sat on the edge of Suki's sick bed "I had to come see you. Why didn't I find out earlier that you were sick? I would of come right away."_

"_Has it been that long… already?", she asked while Katara drew water over her hands and moved it over her body, "I want to see her,… where is she?"_

"_She's here," Aang said as he stepped quietly into the room. He sat in the chair next to the bed and held his new daughter so that Suki could see her._

"_She's beautiful." Suki said, a little stronger, starting to feel some of the pressure release from her chest. She looked up at Aang and smiled, "You do good work Mr. Avatar."_

_Aang smiled back, "Don't I though.", he said, trying to hide his unease._

"_Do you feel any better?", Katara asked as she released the water from her hand back into the bowl where she'd got it._

"_Yes Katara, I feel much better, thank you."_

_Katara gave a weak smile. Her husband could see the worry all over her face and so did Zuko when he walked into the room._

"_You guys made it in early.", he said, trying not to sound worried. He hugged Katara and whispered in her ear, "Don't say anything yet. Tell me in the hall.", he went over to the proud daddy, "Hello little Kya. She's as beautiful as Uncle said she was.", next he sat on the bed and held his wife's hand, "You look like you're feeling better.", he kissed her lips softly._

"_I am.", she smiled, "Katara is wonderful."_

"_Yes, she is. I think I'll go with them to get their things and see Appa. You get some rest." Zuko kissed her forehead and lead friends out of the room._

_As she stood up Suki grabbed Katara's hand and looked at her with the most serious expression the water bender had seen on the warrior's face "I already know about," she moved her eyes down meaningfully "please, don't tell him."_

_Katara looked at her friend "But-"_

"_Katara, please. You can tell him the rest, but please, not that."_

"_O-okay." she said, tears burning hot at the back of her eyes._

* * *

_The water bender quickly caught up to her husband and friend as he lead them down the hall. When he felt he was a good distance away from the room Zuko said. "Katara, tell me, what's wrong with her?"_

_The healer hesitated to speak. But she finally did. "She has a blockage in her lungs." she cast her eyes to the floor to try and keep him from seeing the tears trying to spill from her eyes, to keep him from seeing the secret she was keeping, "I can release the pressure, but me moving it would do more harm than good. There's nothing I can do."_

_Zuko stopped in his tracks, "Are you sure?"_

_She chocked back her tears, "I'm sure, It's too large for me to move , and its too dangerous for me to break it up. If I tamper with it too much I would just shorten her time."_

_There was silence, then Zuko dropped to his knees in tears. "It'll be okay, we're here to help you buddy.", a familiar voice said . Then Zuko looked up he saw Sokka kneeling in front of him."_

"_Sokka?"_

_Katara's mind wondered, she barely heard the heartwarming reunion between her brother and their friend because all she could think of was getting back to Suki, but she did hear Zuko insist on taking Sokka to see Suki immediately._

* * *

_Katara was quiet as she followed the men back to the room and she and Aang stood by the door as Zuko and Sokka went into the room. Aang looked at his wife in a miserable silence and pulled her to him with one arm "I know Sweetie. It's okay to cry."_

_She looked up at him, tears beginning to run down her face. He thought he knew, but he only had half the story. He had no idea how much more there was. She reached over and brushed Kya's little fist with her finger, then pulled her hand back quickly to wipe her tears when Zuko came back out of the room. They followed him to the nursery where he showed them the bassinet he had set up for Kya then he took Ursa to go meet Sokka._

* * *

_It was another three hours before Katara was able to talk to Suki alone. She closed the door when the men and babies left and went to the chair Zuko had placed at Suki's bedside. The Fire Lady gave her friend a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to put all this on you, Tara."_

"_I'm sorry you're going through this." Katara said "We have to find a way. I could tell Aang, and maybe there's some answer in the Spirit World that will keep you here. Maybe-"_

"_No Katara," Suki said calmly "I don't want to interfere with the Spirit World, and I don't want anyone to know."_

"_But Suki, if there is an answer-"_

"_And if there isn't a way, then what?" Suki said, finally starting to cry "It's bad enough Zuko is going to lose me, I can't die in peace if he knew that he was losing a child too."_

"_But what will you do when you start to show?"_

"_I won't make it that long Katara."_

"_Suki, don't say that, you can't give up hope."_

"_I'm not giving up. I'm being realistic." _

_The two women looked at each other tears streaking down their faces. At the same time they reached out to each other and embraced._

* * *

Aang sat stunned, tears now on his own cheeks "S-Suki was…pregnant?" Katara shook her head on his chest "You've been keeping this to yourself all this time?"

"She would have been eight months along now, almost ready for the baby to come. I wish she would of let me tell you. There could have been a way. They could have been here right now. What if there was something I could of done? I failed them all."

"No Katara. You respected her wishes, you did the right and honorable thing. You can't blame yourself." he lifted her head so her eyes meet his "And I wish you hadn't held this in for so long. I don't ever want you to torture yourself like that again. Okay?"

Katara looked at her husband with big watery eyes and shook her head. He wrapped his arms back around her and they sat, looking out at the pond and remembering their friend.

* * *

**I present to you more feels. **

**I had this idea earlier, and I decided to scrap it, but then Jordan brought it up and it got stuck in my head, so here it is, and I hope she cries cause its all her fault.**

**Seriously though, I hope you're enjoying the story. Still working on other stuff, Kataang, Tokka and Zuki weeks are coming up, so updates will be sporadic. Keep an eye out for my other stuff.**


	6. Meanwhile, On Ember Island

**Meanwhile, On Ember Island **

Zuko had been getting better and better as time passed, but to be on the safe side all his family and friends made sure to be in the Fire Nation on the anniversary of Suki's death. Iroh and Ursa Sr made sure that he didn't have any meetings scheduled for that day, Azula was already there as it was her turn to be there, and the others stayed at the villa not wanting to be so obvious that they were worried about him.

To their surprise Zuko had a rather good day. He was quiet, more so than usual, but other than that he went about his regular day. He had breakfast with his mother, sister and daughter, Iroh happily made then Zuko's favorite meal and Suki's favorite tea as per his nephew's request. After breakfast Zuko and Ursa played in the garden, eventually being joined by Katara, Aang, Kya and Sokka. That led to a rousing round of everyone getting on the warrior's case as the little fire princess started singing her new favorite word that she'd learned from her Uncle Sokka, _bitch_.

After lunch, Zuko went off to the turtle duck pond as Katara and Aang put the girls down for their nap. He sat down, intent on meditating when he saw a little boy playing in the distance. He smiled as he watch the boy laugh as he ran behind a cave hopper at the far end of the courtyard, thinking maybe one of the staff brought their little one to work with them. Zuko heard the door slide open and turned to see his mother walking out, at the same time he heard the child call out "Coming Mommy." He turned back and the little boy was gone.

"Mom, did you see the little boy?" he asked confused as he stood up to look around more.

"I see _my_ little boy." she answered with a smirk as she walked up to him.

He smirked back "No Mom, there was a boy, a little bigger than Ursa out here when you opened the door, and now he's gone. There's no way you could of missed him."

Ursa's smile turned into a look of worry, there is no one out here but the two of us." she placed a hand on the side of his face "Perhaps you need some rest. Come, you need to lay down."

Zuko looked back around, then back at his mother "No, no. I'm fine. I think maybe I started daydreaming." he smiled at her, trying to ease her worry, and took her hand from his face to hold it in between his. "Really, I'm fine."

Lady Ursa studied her child for a few moments then smiled "Yes, well. I've been thinking. Why don't you and your friends go out. You haven't been away from the palace in months. Why don't you all go to Ember Island for the night. Iroh and I can take care of the girls."

"I'm not sure. I mean, I appreciate the thought, but those two are a handful, and you and Uncle aren't exactly-"

"Watch yourself young man." Ursa warned.

"Oh, sorry." He apologized, an awkward blush spreading across his cheeks "I don't think Aang and Katara would go anywhere without Kya."

Ursa gave her son a smug smile "They both said if you agree to it they would gladly go."

Zuko thought for a second, "Okay, I'll go, but we'll be back for the girls tomorrow."

Ursa laughed "I don't doubt you will."

"I suppose I'd better go pack something."

"Sokka already has and they're all waiting for you at the stables."

Zuko crossed his arms and looked down at his mother. "And how did you know I would say yes?"

"Because Mother knows." She said as she patted his cheek and walked away.

* * *

The last time Zuko had been to Ember Island, he and Suki were meeting with a contractor to have the beach house restored. The contractor had his crew immediately start on one side of the house, but when Suki died Zuko ordered that the work be stopped. As Zuko strolled through the completed arc of the house, he smiled at the fact that everything had been done exactly as Suki had specified. From the molding to the floor, the drapes and the furniture everything was perfect.

He just stood and looked around until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked down into his sister's smiling face "It's beautiful Zuko. Suki had wonderful taste."

He smiled back at her "Yes, she did. I think I'll get the contractor to come back and finish it all."

"That's a wonderful idea."

* * *

Zuko, Azula and Ty Lee laughed as Sokka stomped his way up the beach mumbling curses under his breath. He brushed the snow off of his head as he flopped down in the sand.

"Come on Sokka, don't be like that!" Aang yelled from the water with a laughing grin on his face as Katara laughed outright at her brother.

"Fuck you Aang!" Sokka yelled back "You and your wife!" Katara and Aang fell over into the water laughing "Yeah, you two think that using water bending to team up on me shit is cute, but it's not!" he pulled his knees to his chest and flopped his arms across his knees, resting his head in the shelter, only his eyes peeking out.

_Fucking jerk benders make me sick. _he cut his eyes over to where Toph was with Moo Chee. If they had seen his sister and brother-in-law cover him with snow, they didn't let on. Toph was helping her fiancé with his sand bending, which he was failing at miserably. But Toph didn't yell at him, she didn't even call him a lily liver, she just laughed. _What the fuck is that all about? Why is she laughing at his sorry ass. Is that what she finds attractive? Why would she want to marry…that?"_

Sokka was so busy with his internal rant he didn't notice Azula sit next to him "You are still such a child." she chuckled.

"I'm in no mood for your shit Azula." he grumbled, still looking at Toph and Moo Chee.

Azula noticed where Sokka's eyes were, but she didn't mention it. "I'm just saying, you should of just thrown them into their precious water, not stomp away like a child."

"Azula, stop rubbing it in." Zuko called from where he was sitting a few feet away.

"Shut it ZuZu. Don't you care that your friend is over here acting like a weakling."

"You know very well that here is _nothing _weak about me." Sokka whispered, cutting a glance over at the princess.

She glanced back at him and fought back a smirk before she looked out over the water nonchalantly, "Well," she said only for him to hear "that brings me to why I _really_ came over here. We missed our yearly meeting a few months back for very understandable reasons, and I think that since we're here we could rectify that situation once everyone is asleep."

Sokka tried not to react, but a rouge eyebrow quirked at the promise of what was to come. "I think that could be arranged." He whispered back in a calm voice.

"Fine. Come to the other side of the house once everyone is a sleep." She answered as she stood up, "I'll be waiting."

Sokka still didn't move, but he watched as Azula sauntered away, noting the extra sway in her hips that he knew she added just for him. He got up and headed back into the water, deciding that a dip would cool of the urges that had popped up during his and Azula's little conversation. As he headed to the water he passed Aang who smirked at him. "Fuck you Aang," he mumbled again.

"I'm starting to think that's your new name for me." the Avatar said before he went on and sat by Zuko. "Nice day, isn't it Sifu Hotman?"

Zuko huffed "Are you ever going to stop calling me that? We're grown men for spirit's sake."

"I'll stop when Toph stops calling me Twinkletoes." He turned to where Toph was "Hey Toph!"

"Yeah Twinkletoes?" She yelled back.

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

"I don't think so," she answered.

He turned back to Zuko. "Well, there's your answer." Zuko groaned and fell back on his towel. Aang looked around to see if anyone was close to where they were sitting, and when he saw that Sokka was off in the water, and Ty Lee and Azula were heading that way, he turned back to Zuko with a serious expression.

"Zuko," he said tentatively "I, I don't want to upset you, but I just wanted to make sure that you're okay…you know, with what today is and everything."

The Fire Lord pushed up onto his elbows and looked at his friend with confusion, then he smiled "I'm okay Aang." He said before pausing for a beat then continued, "I have to admit, I was dreading today. I didn't know how I would feel today. I was a little scared that all the negativity would come back, but I feel really good today. I don't know," he looked up at the clouds, "I guess I know that Suki wouldn't be happy with knowing I was miserable, so I'm not going to be miserable." He glanced at his friend out of the corner of his good eye, then back up at the sky. "Don't get me wrong, I've had a couple of moments when I thought about her last few minutes." His glance diverted to the sand as he paused for a moment "I've cried today, a couple of times." He looked back up to see Aang giving him a pitying look and he smiled a bit. "But that's all okay. Yes, I miss her, and I love her more than anything, but I have to raise our daughter, and I can't do that if I'm constantly in a depression. I'd be failing Suki if I did that, and I can't fail her."

The Avatar smiled at his friend, "You know, I think that's the most well adjusted thing I've heard you say in years."

Zuko fell back on his onto his towel, propping his hands under his head "Yeah, well, someone in the motley crew has to have some sense, I guess it has to be me."

The two men sat together in silence for a while. Just thinking. Aang thinking about the progress Zuko had made, Zuko running over his day once again, when he thought about the turtle duck pond. "Aang, I think I did have a little moment earlier."

"You did? What happened?"

"I was out at the pond and I saw a boy playing. One minute he was there, the next he was gone. Mom said there was no one out there but me when she came out, but I know what I saw."

Aang thought for a moment, "Well that is one of the oldest parts of the palace. Maybe it was the spirit of one of your ancestors."

"I suppose, but why would I see him now, and today of all days?"

"Maybe because you're more open today. And the spirits of children cross back and forth much easier than those of adults. Limits aren't as finite to them. He's probably been coming there for centuries and this was just the first time you've been able to see him."

Zuko nodded his head "That's understandable. Its good to know I'm not having hallucinations."

* * *

Hours after night fell and their stomachs were all full and they had all talked and laughed to their heart's content the friends started falling asleep. They all decided to camp out in the large family room at the end of the renovated side of the house because It was furnished with several large couches, chaises lounges and huge pillows.

Sokka had purposefully fallen asleep first, early in the evening. His sister commented that he must of found a nip of something to drink, but that was far from the truth. After a few hours Zuko had fallen asleep laying a cross a pillow not too far from where Sokka was on the floor. Azula decided to follow Sokka's lead and get a little rest before their rendezvous, so she laid on one of the chaises and drifted off. Ty Lee slid in next to her across from Moo Chee and Toph who had cuddled up on a nearby couch. The three speculated on where Aang and Katara had snuck off to, but considering the fact that it was the night of a full moon and they were on a island , where they went was a foregone conclusion.

* * *

A little less than and hour before midnight Aang and Katara came tipping into the house cuddled into each others arms. They were surprised to find Azula walking through the foyer with a small flame cradled in her hand. "Azula." Katara said a bit startled "We didn't think anyone was still up."

"Apparently." Azula answered with a small smirk spreading on her face as she noticed the totally satisfied and entirely worn out expressions on the couples face. "You two were gone quite a while…but I hear you disappear like that quite often."

They both turned a bit red and Katara tried to change the subject "So why are you wondering around so late? Is everything okay."

"Everything's fine." she shrugged "I just felt like walking around the old place."

"Do you want some company?" Aang offered "We could walk with you if you'd like."

"No. That's nice of you, but I'm fine on my own." she said in her usual calm tone "Besides, you two look like you really could use a rest."

Aang's blush deepened and Katara patted him on the chest with a small, smug smile "Yes, Aang has worked _very_ hard tonight. He needs his rest." she smiled up at him "I could use some rest to."

Azula couldn't help but shake her head and laugh a bit, "Well, goodnight." she said as she turned to start her walk again.

"Goodnight." Aang said. "Have a good walk."

"Oh, I will."

* * *

Sokka strolled across the deserted side of the beach house and thought about the craziness of his situation. What started as one night of trying to forget heartache had become a secretive yearly meeting revolving around sheer carnality. They had to postpone their last meeting because it was the warrior's turn to stay with Zuko. When Azula proposed the meeting he was more than happy to oblige.

He quietly padded down the dark hall toward the flickering candle lights. Sokka looked back to make sure no one was behind him then he slipped into the room, sliding the door closed behind him.

"Well hello." he purred as he took the sight of the princess in. She lounged on a pile of pillows as the candle light played on her lightly tanned skin and black hair.

"Hello." she cooed back, her eyes dark with want "It's been far too long Warrior Prince."

Sokka smiled, "Only you can make royalty sound so good." He walked over to where she laid and got over her, balancing himself on his hands. "And you make it look even better."

She placed a short kiss on his lips before she started sliding her red nails down his chest. A smile spread across Azula's face as her fingers dipped and rose over rippling muscles "You make it look wonderful." She responded. When her hand reached the tie on his pants Sokka wrapped a hand around hers to stop her.

The fire bender looked up at the tribesman's serious face "Azula,' he said "What are we doing here?"

She scoffed "Well, if you don't know by now you really do have issues." Azula said as she pulled the knot loose.

Sokka grabbed her hand once again "Azula, I'm serious. What is this _thing_ between us?"

Azula rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "What?"

He rolled over onto his side "What do we call…_this_?…_us?"_

She frowned at the last word, "There is no label, and there is no _'us' _We just do what we do and then we go our separate ways." She said glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"That's just it. Don't you want more. We've been doing this for years and no one knows anything about it." Azula sat up and narrowed her eyes at Sokka. He kept on "Don't you ever think about having…more."

"More?" She repeated.

"Yes. More." He confirmed.

"You mean like dating, and holding hands, and stolen kissed when we think no one's looking like Toph and The Sap?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying." He said excitedly as he realized saying this to Azula was not nearly as hard as it probably should have been. He was elated that she understood exactly where he was coming from "So you think about that too?"

"Hell NO." She snapped, causing Sokka to pull back in shock "What? So now that the last of your little group has been paired up into a neat little couple you need to do the same?"

"No, that's no-"

"Yes, that's exactly it. I see the jealous way you look at the earth bender and her buffoon. But let me tell you something, if that's what you want, I _am not _the one for you." Sokka rested his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling and his face down with a hang-dog expression. Azula felt bad and put her hand on his back "Look, Sokka. What I'm trying to say is I'm not cut out to be anyone's wife, or girlfriend for that matter. I like my life at the Abbey. I like being able to go there whenever I please," she placed a hand on his chin and pulled his face to hers "and I like _this_."

"And what _is_ this?" He asked.

She smiled, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling her nose against his cheek "Well, _this_ is two friends who get together every so often for the singular purpose of fucking each other raw."

Sokka threw his head back and laughed before he wrapped his arms around a giggling Azula and tackling her onto the pillows. The princess started to tell Sokka that she saw the look in he eyes when he looked at Toph, that she could she that he loved his best friend, but when she realized that he hadn't admitted it to himself she decided not to say anything. After all, she wasn't a fool. She had this tall, dark, handsome, completely capable man there ready and willing to please her and she wasn't about to ruin it.

* * *

Toph sat on the beach, her hand stretched out over the sand beside her, making the grains dance under her fingertips as she felt the warmth of the morning sun on her skin. Her wedding day was little more than a month away and she would be lying is she said that she wasn't nervous. Inside that solid demeanor she wandered if she really loved Moo Chee enough or if she was just marrying him because he loved her. Maybe it was because she had given up on Sokka and her fellow metal bender was her only chance.

Her fiancé was a good guy. He was kind and sincere and he truly loved her. He respected her for who she was and he grew up as Earth Kingdom nobility, so he understood dealing with her family life. And, what was probably most important, he didn't have a problem with the fact that she didn't want children, he whole heartily agreed.

She decided she would stop being silly. It was stupid to be worried about something like that. _It's just marriage_ she thought _Twinkletoes and Sweetness do it, how hard can it be. I'm Toph Muthafuckin' Beifong. I don't get nervous. she stood up. Me and Moo are going to get married and be happy and things are going to be good._

Toph walked over to Appa where everyone was getting into the saddle with a smile on her lips. In six weeks she was getting married. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**Hi guys, I'm still here, just really busy. So here's a happy little interlude before stuff goes to hell in a handbasket. I did Kataang, Zuki and Tokka week. If you haven't seen it check it out. They're posted in A Series of Avatar Oneshots.**

**Much love to candyholic85 and Jordanalane for helping me out today so I could post quickly. You two rock.**


	7. The Break

**The Break**

Before they knew it, it was time for them meet in Gaoling for the wedding of Toph Beifong and Moo Chee Goo Chee La Poo Chee the Third.

Zuko dressed just in time to take his place next to King Bumi. The two rulers officiated, going through the motions of a traditional Earth Kingdom wedding complete with all it's opulence and formality. He stood with a smile on his face and a happy warmth in his heart and watched his friend exchange vows with her new husband. After the ceremony Toph and Moo Chee stood greeting their guest when Zuko noticed Sokka approach the bride. The two shared an exchange as they hugged. It was a seemingly unassuming moment between best friends, but it triggered something in Zuko.

He didn't know why, or how it was possible, but in that moment he missed Suki more than he had in the past year. A searing pain covered his heart and seemed to spread over his body. The Fire Lord's every instinct was screaming at him to curl into a ball and sob, but he willed himself to continue standing there. The smile that was once genuine, was now a struggle to maintain. His muscles ached as he forced himself to mingle, eat and dance during the reception. Not even twirling around the dance floor with his precious Ursa lightened his mood.

* * *

The single men and women attending the wedding participated in a traditional earth kingdom dance where the switched partners every couple of minutes as an excuse to meet everyone. Azula had no interest in joining in on this particular tradition, but she was determined to be a good guest, so she did. She took turn after turn dancing with awkward teenaged boys, old lechers and "confirmed bachelors" who were obviously not ready to be open about their sexuality so they spent the dance pretending to be interested in the women they were dancing with. There were a few men there who were near her age, and perfectly eligible, but there was only one the was interested in giving the time of day to.

When it was her turn to dance with Sokka she went to him with the same stand-offish demeanor she started the other dances with, but as soon as the music swelled she said "I think it would be a good thing if you came and see me at my room tonight."

A smug smile crossed the man's face "It hasn't been two months yet. You need me again already?" he nodded his head and whispered "Water Tribe."

Azula rolled her eyes and sighed "You'll never change."

"That's why you can't stay away from me."

"Not so much. It's just that the last time was rushed. You owe me."

* * *

Zuko sat at the table with his daughter on his lap and watched the dance with a small, forced smile on his face. Katara's voice drew his attention "Zuko, it's getting pretty late. We're going to take the girls to the guest house so they can get to bed." He looked at her a tad too long, as if in a daze. "Zuko. Are you alright?"

"Um yes, I'm fine. I think I'll be going to bed soon myself."

Katara gave him a weary smile "Okay." she held her hand out for the little girl "Come on Ursa. Tell Daddy 'goodnight."

"Night-night Daddy." the little girl said as she reached for the water bender's hand.

"Goodnight my Little Flame." Zuko said as the little girl hopped down off his leg, waving.

He turned back to the dancing crowd, then something caught his attention. He sat strait up to get a better view as the top of a woman's head bounced through the crowed. He watched her as she spun her way into his view. The more he looked at her, the more he saw a resemblance to his darling Suki. Her strait auburn hair and pale skin had him memorized. She wasn't as graceful a Suki was, her eyes were green and her nose was a bit too small, but she looked enough like Suki to catch his attention.

He stood up and through the crowd which parted (like it always did in these types of crowds) as he walked. He stopped when he got to the young woman who was still laughing as she danced with her friends. She hadn't notice the man approach her until she heard one of her friend's gasp.

She stopped mid spin and faced her friend "What's your probl-" her friend swung her around to face the Fire Lord who had a soft smile on his face. She gasped, wide-eyed, and bowed "Fire Lord Zuko, I apologize." she moved to the side and extended her arm "Had I known you were passing I would of moved out of your way."

"No. Actually, I've decided to join the dance. Would you mind being my first partner."

The young woman looked back at her friends that motioned for her to go on and she said "I would he honored Your Highness."

* * *

After the eating, drinking and dancing was done and they had seen Toph and Moo Chee off on their honeymoon, Sokka separated from the group and made his was to Azula's room at the inn. She opened the door for him and wrapped her arms around his neck when he closed it behind him. The warrior's only response to her was a hand placed lazily on her hip as she pressed her tongue to his neck.

"What's your problem?" she asked pulling back and looking at him with a tilted head.

"Nothing. I'm fine." he mumbled as he put his hand on her other hip and bent to place a kiss of his own on her neck.

She backed away "Yes there is something wrong. I know we don't spend much of our time together talking, but I can tell when something's wrong with you." she looked at him a bit more "You're still on that relationship trip, aren't you?"

He stepped away in a huff, "And if I am, what's so wrong with that. It's human nature to want a companion." he flopped down on the bed.

Azula crossed her arms "And you feel that companion should be me?"

"Why not? We enjoy each other's company."

"No, we enjoy having sex with each other." she corrected "Frankly, if I had to spend more than a week with you I may just slip back into my old ways." she studied the look on his face and decided to tell the whole truth "Look," she said as she crossed over to the bed and sat beside him "you and all this relationship stuff, I understand it, but I told you, it's not for me. And, the fact is, I'm not who you want."

"What are you talking about?"

"I see you, you know. The way you look at her, the way you scowl at The Sap. It's not me you want…it's her. I'm just here and she's not."

"No-"

She put her fingertips on his lips "Yes. You love Toph, and I think you finally realize it." He looked at her "You do realize it now, don't you?" Sokka held his head down and Azula placed a hand on his back "I'm sorry this happened at such a bad time. Believe it or not I want to see you happy."

"You do?" he asked with a tipped eyebrow.

She shoved him "Yes you big imbecile. I'm not the heartless bitch I used to be. I'd think that you would know that."

He smile a bit "I do know that."

Sokka and Azula sat and talked for about an hour before he left the inn and headed back to the guest house at the Beifong Estate where he and the others were staying. He made his way across the large back yard, and into the place that the Beifongs referred to as the 'little house' even though Aang and Katara's house in Ba Sing Se and the one they were about to move into on Air Temple Island could fit inside with room to spare.

He let himself in and put his hands in his pockets as he strolled his way through the large house to the bed rooms. He had just passed the second bedroom door when he heard a woman scream at the end of the long hall. The warrior immediately took off running, hearing Aang throw open a room door and coming behind him.

"I SAID GET OUUUTTTTT!" Zuko's voice roared as a half dressed young woman came speeding out of the room, flames licking a her heels, her holding the top of her dress the best she could as she tried to get away.

She ran right into Sokka who caught her with both hands "What's wrong?"

"He's crazy!" she yelled, looking partially angry, partially afraid. "He invited me here, and then he just flipped out."

"Are you hurt?" Aang asked.

"No I'm fine." she said, finally looking up to realize exactly who it was she was talking to "Jus, just a little …confused."

"What happened?" Sokka asked.

"I think she would rather talk to another woman about that." Katara said as she came out of the room the children were sleeping in.

"Are the girls okay?" Aang asked as his wife walked up.

"They're fine." she said softly "They didn't even wake up." she went to the slightly younger woman "Come on, we'll go up front." she said, offering her hand to the visibly shaken young woman.

Sokka and Aang looked at each other, and then at the young woman as she walked away with Katara "Do you see it too?" Aang asked.

"You mean the fact that she looks like a bootleg Suki. Yeah, I noticed."

The two men turned and eased into the room "Zuko?" Sokka said quietly as he stepped in. He stopped short when he saw the great and powerful Fire Lord sitting curled on the floor buck naked with his hands to his face sobbing.

Aang stepped in and he and his brother-in-law looked at each other before he turned back to his friend "Zuko? What's going on?"

"She was so much like her," he said between sobs "But not enough. She's not Suki. Nobody could be Suki."

"We know Buddy, nobody can be like Suki." Sokka said, hurt crossing his face as his heart ached for his friend.

"I thought…I thought maybe if I couldn't see her face…that if I couldn't see that she wasn't…maybe I could imagine that it was her. But it wasn't her. She doesn't have the scars, or the freckles…she didn't feel the same."

As the Avatar realized what the Fire Lord was saying and mournful but mortifies look came over him. He looked over at the warrior who was looking at their friend with a sorrowful look, but shaking his head with understanding. Sometimes it was easy for Aang to forget that Sokka had been with Suki when they were younger because that seemed so long ago, but now he realized that, in this moment, Sokka and Zuko were sharing a profound understanding.

Aang stepped out of the room just as Katara was turning into the room that they were sharing. He got to the door and watched for a moment as she slid her feet into her shoes. "How is she?" he asked quietly.

"Understandably shaken." Katara answered simply.

"So she told you what happened?"

The water bender finally looked up with sad eyes "Did she ever. How is Zuko?"

"Not good."

Katara stood up and walked toward the door "I'm going to walk her home, then I'll go get Azula. She needs to be here for her brother."

"I was thinking the same thing."

* * *

**Okay, so sorry this isn't longer, I meant for it to be, but being busy and a small bit of writer's block got in the way, so I decided to give you what I had. Yep, ZuZu lost his shit , but it'll get better…eventually (mwahahahahahhahah!)**

**Thanks for sticking with me, I appreciated it. I love all the views and favorites, but reviews make me giddy and makes me want to write more. (just being honest)**


	8. A Mother's Last Hope

**A quick little piece to pull the chapters together.**

* * *

**A Mother's Last Hope**

Ursa the First made her way to her son's office to check the morning messages. She opted to stay at the palace and take care of anything that may come up while Zuko was away. As she walked down the hall she hummed a happy to hum until she saw Zuko's secretary, Haun, running towards her.

A sense of dread came over her "Oh no." she exhaled as she stopped in her tracks when she saw the message in the young man's hand.

"Your Ladyship," he said as he bowed and offered the scroll to the woman "this just came in via the Beifong's personal messenger hawk. It's from Princess Azula, marked personal."

"T-thank you." she said as she hesitantly took the message from his hand.

Ursa gripped the letter in both hands and finished the walk to her son's office, trying her best not to let her mind go to all the terrible reasons Azula would be writing her only four days before they were due home. Once she got inside the office she pressed her back against the door and began to read.

_Mother,_

_We will be leaving Gaoling in the morning. Everyone is physically well, but Zuko has hand a setback. I was not there, but, from what they tell me, it was bad. He's in a terrible state._

_Mom, I want nothing less than to tell you this, but you need to know. When I first got to him he was nearly catatonic. He was curled on his bed in nothing more than his underwear. I could tell he had been crying quite a bit. He would not speak to me, or any of his friends. It was only this morning when Ursa ran it to say 'good morning' that he said anything, and that was half hearted._

_I am sitting with him as I write this. The others are off packing Appa's saddle. Zuko is just laying here, staring at the wall. He wouldn't bathe or shave, but Sokka and Aang did put a pair of pants and a shirt on him before the girls got up._

_I'm afraid for him Mother. I saw people like this when I was in the hospital. I know he has been through a lot, but I never thought he would come to this._

_I am sending the messenger hawk ahead so that you can be prepared when we get there. Aang says we should be about six hours behind it. I pray that Zuko is in a better state by the time we make it home._

_Azula_

Ursa held the paper tightly to her chest and exhaled deeply before she lifted her hand to her face to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She'd had so much hope that the depression was over, but it had come back even worse. He had never shut people out so completely as Azula had described in her letter. She went to her desk and scribbled out a letter to Iroh who was in a nearby village visiting a friend. After she finished that letter she took a cleansing breath, got up and went to the door. She opened it a crack and spoke to Zuko's secretary "Haun."

"Yes Milady." the young man said as he stood up and turned to the Fire Lord's mother.

"I need two messenger hawks, one short distance, one long."

'Yes Ma'am, right away." he said before he rushed off to the hawk trainer.

Ursa turned back into the office and walked back to the desk. She'd been saving this as a last resort, but now she had no where else to turn.

She didn't want to bother him with this, but on one else had been able to get through to Zuko, not even Iroh. Iroh had not gone through a deep depression when his wife died, but he had. He would know what to do. She sat down, pulled out another piece of paper and began to write.

_Dear Hakoda,_

_I hate to have to come to you like this, but we need your help. I am sure Katara and Sokka have been keeping you up to date with what is going on with Zuko. We'd believed that things were starting to look up for him, but it seems that something has happened in Gaoling and he has gotten worse._

_We need your help, Hakoda. My son needs your help. I think you may understand more than anyone what he's going through right now. Please, come soon._

_Ursa_

She rolled the letter and sealed it just as Lee the Hawk Trainer came in with the two birds requested on his shoulders. The letters were promptly sent and Ursa settled down into Zuko's chair to await the arrival of her children and their friends.


	9. Haunted Past

**Not much to say. Sorry this is coming out in little chunks, but I'm working on it. Thanks for the reviews and all that stuff. I appreciate it more than you know.**

* * *

**9 Haunted Past**

Hakoda read over the letter once more as his ship passed into Fire Nation waters. When he was done he tucked the letter into his jacket and looked out over the sea. A familiar hand landed on his shoulder "How long have you been standing there Bato?" he asked his oldest friend.

"Long enough to see you read that letter for the tenth time." the taller man said "You're thinking about Chameleon Bay, aren't you?"

The chief sighed "You know I am. It's strange, we've been ignoring the whole thing for years, and now this. Zuko's a good kid, I have to go help him, even if it means being so close to her."

"You can't ignore her forever, your kids are so close."

"I know that." he said frustrated "Don't you think I know that. I just, I wish things were as simple as I use to think they were."

_Hakoda stood with his children and their friends in the grand hall of the Fire Nation Palace awaiting the entrance of the Fire Lord, the Fire Princess and their long lost mother. He'd insisted that he shouldn't encroach on the moment, but Katara said that Zuko insisted that the cheif come meet his mother, especially after he and Kanna had been so good to the young man after the war._

_Zuko and Azula entered the room and said beautiful things about how they'd missed their mother during their childhood, how they would have been better people if they had her there. They talked about how they tracked clues that finally took them to the Abby at the Mo Ce Sea where a nun told them of rumors she'd heard of Fire Nation deserters hiding out in the cliffs of Chameleon Bay. Hakoda ears perked when he heard that and he listened closer._

_Zuko's mother had indeed been hiding in near total isolation in Chameleon Bay. Then she walked in. Hakoda bided his time and watched as she greeted her children's friends with a wide smile and hugs. Finally Zuko led her over to him. _

"_Mother, this is Sokka and Katara's father Hakoda. I told you about him and his mother."_

"_It's nice to finally meet you Hakoda. Thank you so much for taking care of my son. He needed good people in his life. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to thank your mother." she said, trying to hide the trimmer in her voice._

"_It's nice to meet you Lady Ursa." Hakoda said, biting back his true words "Zuko's a good kid. I just treated him like I treat all of my kids' friends."_

_Zuko wrapped his hand around his mother's shoulder "See Mom, I told you he was great." he looked up and saw Iroh "I'll be right back."_

_They smiled and watched the young king walk away then Hakoda turned to Ursa. "It's good to see you again Li Min, or should I call you by your real name?" he said in a whispered tone._

"_I've missed you Hakoda." she said quietly, lowering her head._

"_I came back for you once everything was over, but I couldn't find you."_

"_I'm sorry. I went deeper into hiding. After I lost touch with you I didn't get anymore news about the war. I was afraid that something had happened. That Ozai had won."_

"_You could of came down from the cliffs, go into the town for information." He said._

"_I let fear rule my life for far too many years. You were the only one I let in during all that time." she looked over at Zuko talking to Iroh, still fascinated and heartbroken over his scar "I wished I would of talked to more people," she looked back at Hakoda "or gone with you when you asked me to. I could of defied Ozai and came back to take my children." she looked back at Zuko and Azula who was now at his side "The things he's done to my children. How could I have stayed away so long?"_

"_You thought you were protecting them. You didn't know the kind of monster he was."_

_She looked back at him, tears threatening to spill from her eyes "But I did know, I just never thought he would hurt his own children. Even after he turned on me, I thought he would always love them." _

"_You're here now, that's what matters."_

* * *

Azula stepped into the room quietly to see Sokka sitting with his head against the wall with his eyes closed. "Where is my brother?" she demanded.

Sokka didn't move "He went to take a bath."

"He did." she said happily. They'd been home for three days and Zuko had done little more in that time than walk from Appa to his bed "Wait a minute, you let him go in the tub alone. What if he drowns himself."

Sokka took his head from the wall and huffed as he looked at Azula tiredly "Don't worry, Iroh went to sit with him," he leaned his head back and closed his eyes again "which is a good thin because I've seen enough of your brother's balls to last me a lifetime."

Azula found Sokka's quip funny, but she didn't let on "How was he last night?"

"The same. He wouldn't sleep, so I just talked to him all night. I was running out of things to talk about, but I think the forty-five minutes dedicated to how he was stinking up the palace must of gotten through because about thirty minutes ago he got up and said he was going to take a bath.

Her eyes stretched "He talked to you?"

"He shrugged his shoulders "More like grunted at than talked to, but either way, he spoke."

The door slid open and Azula turned around. She couldn't help but smile as she looked at her freshly washed brother. His hair was still wet, he was shirtless and he hadn't shaved, but he was clean. "Good morning Zuko." she said expectantly.

"Azula." he grunted as he crossed over to his traditional robes. He silently pulled the robe over his head before tucking his hands in his sleeves and heading for the main door.

"Zuko," Azula said cautiously." Where are you going?"

"I am the Fire Lord." he said woodenly "I have work to do. I think I have taken far to much time off."

Azula and Sokka looked at each other confused, then they looked at Zuko "Perhaps you should have some breakfast. You haven't eaten in days."

"Have something sent to the throne room." he deadpanned as he walked out of the room.

"He's determined to attend that meeting today." Iroh said as he came out of the bathroom "I told him I would handle it, but he insisted."

* * *

When Aang approached the throne room doors he noticed that the guards looked worried. "Good Morning," he greeted normally "is everything okay?"

"All is well Avatar Aang." the male guard said as the shaking of his head indicated the opposite. The female guard raised her hand and beckoned him closer.

Aand stepped forward and asked "What is it?" in a hushed tone.

"The Fire Lord has come to preside over the meeting." the woman said quietly.

"Well that means he's feeling better. That's a good thing."

"We thought so too," the man said "that is until he set the pits aflame."

"He's done what?"

'Yes Avatar Aang." the woman said "He barely spoke, walked in and lit the fire."

"Thank you, I'll go check on him." Aang said as he walked into the room.

There Zuko sat stiffly, eyes forward and emotionless "Good Morning Avatar Aang."

"Avatar Aang? Since when do you call me Avatar Aang?"

"Recent…events have led me to realize that I have not been living in a way that is proper for a Fire Lord. It's time I rectify that."

Aang's face scrunched "What do you mean by that."

"The incident in Gaoling was an unfortunate one that would not of happened had I been carrying myself in a way that was becoming of a Fire Lord. That will never be an issue again."

"You've just been having a hard time, it happens." even through the flame Aang could see Zuko's eyebrows furrow "You sound as if you're trying to give up all emotion."

"Emotion is a weakness. Now Avatar Aang, it is time for the meeting, this conversation is over."

"But Zuko-"

"It is over. And from here on you will address me in the proper manner."

Aang's face knotted as he looked at his friend. He heard the door open behind him, and the mumbling as the people noticed the flames dancing at the head of the large room. His mouth balled " Yes. Fire Lord Zuko.


	10. Affected

**10 Affected**

After the meeting all in attendance walked out of the throne room uttering stunned mumbles. They had never seen the young king so stoic, serious and damn near scary. Some of the older men had even went so far as to compare Zuko to his father.

Azula stood and watched them file out, holding her little niece's hand. She stood confused, listening to bits and pieces, but the people would all stop talking when they noticed her and the little girl standing there. She bided her time, she knew one person would not coddle her. He would tell her the truth. "Aang," she said as soon as he passed through the threshold "what's going on? What's all the whispering about?"

"It's Zuko," he answered "he's in there doing his best impression of a breathing stone. He's lit the flames in the pit, and he's insisting that we 'address each other properly." he dropped his head, running a hand across the top "I had hoped that he was feeling better, but now he's trying to bottle everything up and bury it as deep as possible." he looked at the elder princess "Azula, I don't know what else to do."

"Mother says Hakoda is on his way. Hopefully he knows how to help him."

"I hope so." he looked down at the little girl "So what are you two up to?"

"See Daddy." Ursa answered happily.

Aang looked at Azula with concern "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"She usually brightens him up a bit." she answered looking at her niece with a thoughtful smile as the girl was starting to tug at her hand impatiently "Well, we'd better go."

* * *

"It's good to see you again Li Min." Hakoda said as he walked up behind the woman who was tending a lily-rose bush in the garden.

Ursa held her head down and blushed a bit "I haven't been called that in years." she turned to him, remembering the reason he was there "I'd greatly appreciate it if you would not call me that anymore. That was another person…another life."

The chief cast his eyes to the side "Yes. Another life." then he looked up at the woman "So, how is Zuko doing today?"

Ursa smiled a bit "Weill he came out of his room, he bathed and it attending a meeting. Aang is going to meet me here when it's over to tell me how it went. I am hopeful that everything is well."

"I'm sorry to say it isn't." Aang said drawing Ursa and Hakoda's attention as he walked into the garden. He went on to tell them about the events of the morning "I'm sorry Lady Ursa, but Zuko is not doing as well as we'd hoped. Hopefully Little Ursa can bring a smile to his face."

The woman held her head down, a pain in her heart from learning that her son was not at all well "I certainly hope so."

* * *

Azula rushed through the doors of the throne room and ran right into Katara and Sokka "Azula? What's wrong?" Katara asked, noticing that the princess was visibly unnerved.

"That room, the way he's sitting there. I can't. I love my brother, but I just can't." she mumbled as she fell into Sokka's arms for comfort.

Sokka brushed his hands down her long black hair "And you don't have to. We'll see about him."

Katara studied the way her brother and Azula stood, the way she balled her body comfortably into his, the way he held her close and spoke gently to her. This was obviously not the first time they had been so close. She decided to shrug it off for the moment and go see what had upset Azula so much.

"Azula" Sokka said quietly as he watched his sister disappear through the giant doors "maybe I should walk you to your room."

"She looked up at him teary eyed "yes."

As they walked down the hall she thought about her brother sitting there behind a wall of flame, looking like Ozai. It took her back to the day of Sozin's Comet, the say she'd lost her mind.

She'd fought as hard as she could because losing was not an option. She could never let her father know that she'd lost to Zuko and a Water Tribe peasant. She had to do what she had to do, so she shot him with lightning.

It actually felt good to have him out of the way. Then it was the girl's turn. Azula fought as hard as she could, but Katara got the better of her. There, bound and defeated she thought about Ozai. I he had burned Zuko for talking back what would he do to her for utter defeat. Her already broken mind couldn't handle the thought, so it let go.

* * *

Katara stood in the throne room in shock. Zuko sat there stone-faced as Ursa sat beside him playing. A veil of flam licked in front of them "Good morning Zuko." she said, trying her best to hide her worry.

"Good morning Master Katara." he said "I see you have not spoken to your husband yet." he glanced quickly at his daughter, then back to Katara "I feel it's best if we all address each other properly from here on."

Katara bit her tongue "If that's what you think is best Firelord Zuko." she said calmly with a small bow "Princess Azula seemed upset. I thought that, perhaps, something was wrong."

"As you can see my daughter and I are fine. My sister said she wasn't feeling well. Perhaps she is coming down with something. I'd be grateful is you wound check on her. Heal her if it is needed."

The water bender fought hard not to shoot Zuko a nasty look "Yes. Will there be anything else?"

"No. That will do."

* * *

"Azula?" Sokka said quietly from where he sat beside Azula on her bed "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head for a moment before she said "I can't" in a weak whisper."

"You don't have to." he said as he pulled her closer to him.

* * *

"Hello Fire Lord Zuko" Hakoda said with a small bow.

"Chief Hakoda. I was not aware that you were in the Fire Nation." Zuko asked as he took a sip of the tea a young servant brought him. He frowned and looked at the girl "Who made this?" he demanded.

"I, I did sire." the young woman stuttered.

Zuko threw the cup into the pit in front of it causing the young woman and Ursa to jump at the sound of the shattering porcelain "If I wanted bad tea I would of made it myself. Go have my uncle teach you how to make a proper pot of tea. And for your sake I hope the next one is correct."

"Yes Fire Lord." the girl said as she hurried out of the room.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that Hakoda." he said. "What brings you here today?"

Hakoda watched Ursa timidly approach her father who wrapped his arm around her without diverting his gaze "Well, your mother thought it would be a good thing if we talked. She feels that since we both," he glanced at the little girl for a second, then back at Zuko "have gone through the same situation that it would be a good thing if we talked."

"Well, I'm sorry my mother had you come all this way for nothing. I have nothing to talk about."

"I thought I didn't need help when I lost my Kya. I thought I could handle it by myself, but I was so wrong." the older man said as he held his head down. "I took me so long to get back into my right mind"

Zuko twisted his head to the side "So am I to understand that my mother thinks that I am not in my right mind?"

"She said nothing of the sort, just that you were having a hard time and you needed to talk to someone who's been through something similar."

The flames around Zuko flickered brighter, rose higher , but he kept his monotone "I admit that this year has been less than ideal, but, as you can see I am fine. Now I will ask you to leave."

Knowing that tone all to well and knowing he had to pick his battles he decided that this was not the time to push the issue. He said "As you wish. I'll be around for a couple of days if you change your mind." and he turned to leave.

"Don't worry, I won't."

* * *

Azula gathered her strength and went back to talk to her brother. It was horrible for her to see him in that state, but she had to try and talk to her. "Zuko," she said as she approached him "Why won't you talk to Hakoda?"

"I do not need to talk to him."

"Yes," she said, an obvious tremble in her voice "you do."

"So mother is not alone, you also think I'm not in my right mind."

A tear finally dropped from her eye "You aren't Zuko. You need help, more than we can provide for you." she held her head down and spoke in a whisper "I don't want you to end up where I was."

"I won't." he said in a low growl "I am stronger than that."

The tears flow freely now "You know, I almost didn't come back here, you look like _him._ You always have, but now it's more than just a physical resemblance. I can't watch you turn into that." she looked at her niece, still huddled under Zuko's arm "I can't watch you turn her into what I used to be."

"That will not happen."

"Oh really!" she snapped, her fist clenched "Look at her, she's afraid."

"That's ridiculous. Ursa knows she has no reason to fear me."

"Is it? Is it ridiculous Zuko? She's afraid."

"Then why does she hold on to me."

"Because she loves you and she wants to make you happy. She'll do whatever she needs to do to make you happy, even if it means stuffing down fear until she becomes a careless, unfeeling monster. I can't stay here and watch her grow up to be that." she looked at the little girl and spoke softly "I'm sorry baby. Auntie loves you, but I have to leave." she said as she blew a kiss to the little girl and turned to leave.

"Azula, where are you going?" Zuko asked, still stone faced.

"I'm going back to the Abbey." she said as she walked.

"When will you be back?"

She turned as she opened the door. With tears washing over her face and pain in her eyes she said "I'm won't. I can't be here and keep my sanity." She hung her head and left her brother sitting in a stunned silence.


End file.
